To Live, I Must Think...

The past year has been full of thinking.....how can I be better at work, as a mother, with my health, a wife, spiritually, in becoming whole, etc.  I haven't had a lot of new thoughts from what I previously posted.  Just rehashing.....therefore, I haven't written.  

Lately though, I've felt a pull to do so.  Something that my broker tells us often is that we have to think.  We have to ask a question and ponder it.  I like that except when I don't feel like I've received any particular revelation or insight.  Then, it's just frustrating.

So my goal now, is to declutter.  Get rid of things in my mind, in my life, everything.  I don't need it and it doesn't allow me to progress.  I figure that when this is done, I will be open to receiving what I need to progress.

For now, my thought is.....what do I change in my life to welcome what will make my life better?

Frustration

For those of you who know me, know that I've been in a black hole for the past few months.  Not that I've advertised it, but I've really been in a slump where it's been easier to ignore the world instead of taking it on.  Leon hates it when I get like this because it's like a roller coaster ride....on top of the world.....in the valley.....on top of the world....in the valley.


So, of course, I've been reading a ton of things to see what is going on and how to overcome it.  To be honest, I haven't loved the answers.  Not because they haven't been good, but because I know I have to change......and change big!  I am always looking for the next big/good/exciting/fulfilling thing.  But that's not necessarily what I've learned.  


Three things I've learned that have struck a chord:
1.  When you are frustrated, it is your mind's way of saying "it's time to change" and it starts looking for it.  It is a way for your body to start the process of getting out of homeostasis.  Homeostasis is the natural process of keeping balance.  For example, the room temperature and the thermostat.  It turns on or off based on the thermostat within a specific, usually pretty small, range.  So when you disturb the balance, it reacts.  "IT" being the universe, your life, your mind, your body, etc., etc.  In order to change, you must introduce a little bit of change over and over again.  (Tony Robbins)
2.  In order to become a master in anything, I must learn to enjoy the repetitive, monotonous activities.  Whoa.  I wasn't expecting that one, but it makes sense.  I'm sure many of you have had discussions about 'living in the moment.'  Specifically, it is a way of taken martial art practices and applying them to every day life.  if I can enjoy the process of doing the dishes, putting clothes away, making sales calls, driving my kids home from school, then I will find fulfillment in my life.  I had never thought of it this way and I think this is going to be the hardest thing for me to learn.  I will have to remind myself over and over and over and over and over again.  (George Leonard)
3.  Embrace the process.  Embrace making mistakes.  Embrace embarrassing yourself.  Embrace looking like a fool.  Embrace change.  Embrace the joy of learning.  Embrace the pain of growing.  Embrace the progress.  Embrace the falls.  Embrace your new self.  (George Leonard, George Morris, John Ciet, Tony Robbins, Patti Cook)


The most important thing, I must start.  But not too much at one time - definitely something I have a hard time not doing.  I must take action....small incremental steps.....and enjoy the moment....don't look for the reward, but the journey.  Being a task oriented person, this is going to be tough.  But I believe it will be so much more rewarding.


Wish me luck!

Balance - the Key to Happiness?

I've been thinking a lot about how to find happiness in my own life lately. Not that I'm unhappy, but I do get caught up in the day to day and not smelling the roses, as the old saying goes.

I know that there is no perfect formula to creating happiness in your own life, but I do feel that balance is a huge part in it. I've been adjusting to my new responsibilities as PTO President at the my kids elementary/charter school, continuing to professionally develop myself in regards to real estate, being a mom that my kids want to be around, a wife that my husband desires (or at least wants to be around), and continuing to enjoy and fulfill my church responsibilities.

Balance allows me to know that I'll get to everything else, even while focusing on just one aspect. But I must find balance first. I believe that I cannot do it with the toolset I currently have. I need to grow and expand in order to be able to understand where my priorities should lie and how I can fulfill each one without neglecting another.

Right now, I listen to uplifting CDs that help me to understand my meaning in life or tell me how I can continue to become a better person. I also read books that help me to break through my own self-defeating thoughts. My work environment is also incredibly helpful in increasing my self-belief. Not to mention, I just started 1-on-1 coaching with someone who wants to see me succeed and therefore will help me focus on improving and become a better me - in all areas of my life.

What do you do?

Serendipity - my new mantra

I read a book when I was younger called 'Serendipity'. It was about a dinosaur (I think) and Serendipity was it's name. It swam .... yup, that's about all I remember.

I've heard the word since then a few times, but never truly understood it's meaning. But yesterday, when a great friend invited me to a Power of Moms retreat, this word was explained to me gloriously!

Serendipity - Merriam-Webster definition: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for; also : an instance of this. Boring!

Definition given by Richard Eyre: a bridge built between spontaneity and organization or proactive and reactive. Serendipity is a state of mind whereby a person through awareness and sensitivity frequently finds something better than that which he was seeking. Beautiful!

I want to be spontaneous! I want to be organized! I want to be proactive! I need to be reactive! And now, I can be it all by being serendipitous! When he described that in order to find these precious moments that allow me to be spontaneous, I must have a direction in the first place. It sure makes me feel good about having a plan in place and trying to follow it. And now I get to look for those Serendipitous moments that will allow me to discover something new or share something new or anything!

He challenged us to look for the moments of Serendipity in our lives - to truly enjoy these moments and to share them with others if possible. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do to find these moments. :)

36 Years .... and Counting

I'm 36 today .... a glorious 36! I was talking with my husband yesterday about that and about the fact that I'm not sure how I would gauge my 'success' at this age. So, this is the list of what we talked about:

1. I have a home that I'm establishing.
2. I have a great career.
3. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband.
4. I have five beautiful, healthy kids.
5. I have a relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
6. I have an amazing extended family that supports me in all my endeavors.
7. I have friends who truly care about me and my happiness.

Not too shabby! I wonder what I will be able to make of the next 36 years.

Fight Against the Flow

Why is it when we are given a very basic plan and shown that it works, we fight against it and don't receive those blessings?

I have a couple examples of this:

Kids vs Chores vs Privileges

The expectation that's been set is that the kids come home and do the following:

1. put away their shoes, coats, and backpacks
2. change their clothes (they wear uniforms to school)
3. have a snack
4. do their chores
5. do their homework

This has been the same routine for over a year now .... and yet .... the kids don't do it each day (rarely do they do it all on their own accord). They know that if they do it without being asked, I'm willing to let them do just about anything.

Success at Work

At work, we are given a very specific breakdown of what to do to receive an overabundance of income:

1. come to training daily
2. practice daily
3. make our phone calls daily
4. talk to our SOI quarterly
5. follow up daily

And yet, less than 50% of the agents in the office do these things regularly. I'd dare say that less than 10% actually commit to these things every day. But those that do, have abundant success.

Spiritual Peace

My religion teaches us that we should:

1. pray in the morning
2. pray at night
3. study our scriptures daily
4. have family home evening weekly
5. attend our meetings weekly
6. fast monthly
7. pay our tithing monthly (or more)
8. fulfill our callings as needed

When we do this, we are blessed abundantly. I know that as I have followed these things more close, my husband and I's lives have been abundantly blessed - more than I feel we deserve.

Why wouldn't we just do these things because we see our blessings when we do? Why don't we do these things because of the see the peace that they afford, but instead forge our own paths? Why don't we enjoy doing these things just because of the positive results they give us?

It's amazing to me that I don't find myself just falling into these things naturally, but I am 'too tired' or 'know better' or 'just am not interested' or 'too uncomfortable' .... etc.

Now ... what will I do about it?

Self-Reliance

After my last post, Segullah was mentioned by two family members as a blog that they liked. I have to say, I'm not so sure that I like it. That might be too harsh ... but some of the writing is not to my taste (too flowery). I know for a fact that others love that, but not my style. It actually hurts my head to try and consume the writing that way.

But then there are others that are right up my alley. In fact, I read several posts today that made me cry .... not just a tear or two, but cry. Losing a child, getting divorced, watching someone go through a hard time.

The latest one that struck me was on self-reliance: http://segullah.org/daily-special/finding-balance-thrift-versus-consumption/. I thought that I had already put my thoughts down on this, but it doesn't appear so.

For many years I've been confused about self-reliance. The church has given us two different messages: be self-reliant and support/give to each other. Okay ... what am I missing? How can I serve or give to others, if I'm supposed to not only take care of my needs now, but put away more for later? Sounds like two opposing messages, doesn't it?

Then one day during a lesson in Relief Society on self-reliance ... 'Bing!' ... the light went on. Oh ..... I get it! If you take care of the things within your home, you have the capability of looking outside of your home to bless others.

If we have extra food stored...

• we can give to a family in the ward who is out of a job
• we can make dinner for a young mother that just gave birth or got sick
• we can make a meal for a funeral or for ward function

If we have extra money put away...

• we can give more towards the ward missionary fund
• we can double my fast offering
• we can give towards a family that has to be for an unplanned funeral
• we can give to a family that has an unplanned medical expense

Yup - I can't tell you how long it took for me to get this concept ... years! I'm a little ashamed to think I was so thick-headed. But I'm really happy that I know it now. Now, I can focus on getting my act together so that I can bless others lives.