Frustration

For those of you who know me, know that I've been in a black hole for the past few months.  Not that I've advertised it, but I've really been in a slump where it's been easier to ignore the world instead of taking it on.  Leon hates it when I get like this because it's like a roller coaster ride....on top of the world.....in the valley.....on top of the world....in the valley.


So, of course, I've been reading a ton of things to see what is going on and how to overcome it.  To be honest, I haven't loved the answers.  Not because they haven't been good, but because I know I have to change......and change big!  I am always looking for the next big/good/exciting/fulfilling thing.  But that's not necessarily what I've learned.  


Three things I've learned that have struck a chord:
1.  When you are frustrated, it is your mind's way of saying "it's time to change" and it starts looking for it.  It is a way for your body to start the process of getting out of homeostasis.  Homeostasis is the natural process of keeping balance.  For example, the room temperature and the thermostat.  It turns on or off based on the thermostat within a specific, usually pretty small, range.  So when you disturb the balance, it reacts.  "IT" being the universe, your life, your mind, your body, etc., etc.  In order to change, you must introduce a little bit of change over and over again.  (Tony Robbins)
2.  In order to become a master in anything, I must learn to enjoy the repetitive, monotonous activities.  Whoa.  I wasn't expecting that one, but it makes sense.  I'm sure many of you have had discussions about 'living in the moment.'  Specifically, it is a way of taken martial art practices and applying them to every day life.  if I can enjoy the process of doing the dishes, putting clothes away, making sales calls, driving my kids home from school, then I will find fulfillment in my life.  I had never thought of it this way and I think this is going to be the hardest thing for me to learn.  I will have to remind myself over and over and over and over and over again.  (George Leonard)
3.  Embrace the process.  Embrace making mistakes.  Embrace embarrassing yourself.  Embrace looking like a fool.  Embrace change.  Embrace the joy of learning.  Embrace the pain of growing.  Embrace the progress.  Embrace the falls.  Embrace your new self.  (George Leonard, George Morris, John Ciet, Tony Robbins, Patti Cook)


The most important thing, I must start.  But not too much at one time - definitely something I have a hard time not doing.  I must take action....small incremental steps.....and enjoy the moment....don't look for the reward, but the journey.  Being a task oriented person, this is going to be tough.  But I believe it will be so much more rewarding.


Wish me luck!

Balance - the Key to Happiness?

I've been thinking a lot about how to find happiness in my own life lately. Not that I'm unhappy, but I do get caught up in the day to day and not smelling the roses, as the old saying goes.

I know that there is no perfect formula to creating happiness in your own life, but I do feel that balance is a huge part in it. I've been adjusting to my new responsibilities as PTO President at the my kids elementary/charter school, continuing to professionally develop myself in regards to real estate, being a mom that my kids want to be around, a wife that my husband desires (or at least wants to be around), and continuing to enjoy and fulfill my church responsibilities.

Balance allows me to know that I'll get to everything else, even while focusing on just one aspect. But I must find balance first. I believe that I cannot do it with the toolset I currently have. I need to grow and expand in order to be able to understand where my priorities should lie and how I can fulfill each one without neglecting another.

Right now, I listen to uplifting CDs that help me to understand my meaning in life or tell me how I can continue to become a better person. I also read books that help me to break through my own self-defeating thoughts. My work environment is also incredibly helpful in increasing my self-belief. Not to mention, I just started 1-on-1 coaching with someone who wants to see me succeed and therefore will help me focus on improving and become a better me - in all areas of my life.

What do you do?

Serendipity - my new mantra

I read a book when I was younger called 'Serendipity'. It was about a dinosaur (I think) and Serendipity was it's name. It swam .... yup, that's about all I remember.

I've heard the word since then a few times, but never truly understood it's meaning. But yesterday, when a great friend invited me to a Power of Moms retreat, this word was explained to me gloriously!

Serendipity - Merriam-Webster definition: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for; also : an instance of this. Boring!

Definition given by Richard Eyre: a bridge built between spontaneity and organization or proactive and reactive. Serendipity is a state of mind whereby a person through awareness and sensitivity frequently finds something better than that which he was seeking. Beautiful!

I want to be spontaneous! I want to be organized! I want to be proactive! I need to be reactive! And now, I can be it all by being serendipitous! When he described that in order to find these precious moments that allow me to be spontaneous, I must have a direction in the first place. It sure makes me feel good about having a plan in place and trying to follow it. And now I get to look for those Serendipitous moments that will allow me to discover something new or share something new or anything!

He challenged us to look for the moments of Serendipity in our lives - to truly enjoy these moments and to share them with others if possible. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do to find these moments. :)

36 Years .... and Counting

I'm 36 today .... a glorious 36! I was talking with my husband yesterday about that and about the fact that I'm not sure how I would gauge my 'success' at this age. So, this is the list of what we talked about:

1. I have a home that I'm establishing.
2. I have a great career.
3. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband.
4. I have five beautiful, healthy kids.
5. I have a relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
6. I have an amazing extended family that supports me in all my endeavors.
7. I have friends who truly care about me and my happiness.

Not too shabby! I wonder what I will be able to make of the next 36 years.

Mormon Mommy Blogs

So I've been feeling quite inadequate lately about how/what I share on Facebook and my blog. I don't write really well, I'm not witty with my content, I don't relate to popular shows or trends, I just write whatever is poignant to me at that moment. (Using the word poignant here is an ode to Mom, an English teacher.) As much as I don't want to care that others are reading, I secretly do want people to read my blog and comment on it. When that happens, I feel like I'm actually connecting to others, and that's kind of cool (fulfilling).

There was the article that came out about women who are not Mormons - far from it - but can't stop following Mormon Mommy Blogs: http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs. I thought "how interesting." So I thought that I should check out some of the blogs that were mentioned. To tell you the truth, I couldn't stand most of them. I love following some of my friends blogs, my cousin, and my sister-in-laws blogs. My favorite posts are witty ones that incorporate real life into fun posts. But the big thing is that I know these people and I care about their lives, so what they say really mean something to me.

Today, I came across this contest: http://www.mormonmomma.com/index.php/2011/nominations-best-lds-female-solo-blogger-2010/. So, I thought "how interesting." (see a pattern here) And I checked out the blogs that have been nominated. Wow .... I really don't like most of them. Some of them were really, really spiritual. Nothing wrong with that, just not my style. Several were very superficial - definitely not what I'm interested in. But there were two that stood out. Why? They are practical. They talk about things that I can relate to. They share stories or just write about them in a way that I could relate to.

So, guess what my conclusion was with all this hype? People like what they like. My style is very different from so many others. But there are a few of you out there that like it and can relate to it. Although, I do think that I will try to find some 'light' stuff to write about and maybe put up a picture or two. Shocking, I know. Don't hold your breath though ..... it will probably take a couple months before I actually do so. :)

Attitude of Gratitude

Apparently, I need to be more grateful. Why, you ask? Because I have had numerous discussions at work from our principal broker, I've read several books recently that have mentioned it, and on Sunday our entire sacrament meeting was dedicated to it. So apparently, I need to keep hearing it.

Now, don't get me wrong......I love this topic. I have a testimony of how gratitude positively affects our lives. I firmly believe that gratitude helps us constantly focus on the positive aspects of our lives. At the beginning of last year, we started doing Thankful Journals (inspired by President Eyring's journal). We didn't end up doing it every day or even weekly, but I've still been trying to write during sacrament each week.

In fact, at work, we write down 10 things we are grateful for and then 10 goals. The best part about doing this frequently is that I don't feel very thorough if I just write down 'husband' or 'kids' or 'gospel'. I now write things that are very specific like 'a husband who has a job with great benefits' or 'kids who are excited about my success' or 'having a foundation of values that ground me and my family'.

So here are a few things that are always on my list:

1. I am grateful for the love and support my family gives me.
2. I am grateful for the excitement my kids show regarding my success in real estate.
3. I am grateful for my testimony in Jesus Christ that I know I can be forgiven of my sins if I ask for that forgiveness.
4. I am grateful for a work environment that is positive and wants me to be successful both in real estate and in life.
5. I am grateful for cars that are working.
6. I am grateful for a home that keeps me and my family warm this winter.
7. I am grateful for my current clients.
8. I am grateful for my leads.
9. I am grateful for books and CDs that help me to culture an attitude of self-improvement and an appreciation for what I do have.
10. I am grateful that I understand how gratitude affects me in a positive way every day.

Purpose in Life

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is? I've been thinking about that a lot over the last month or so.

1. What legacy am I supposed to leave my kids?
2. What feeds my soul now and after my kids are grown?
3. What will my imprint be on the world after I am gone?

At work, we talk a lot about motivation. What motivates you to do things you do each day? Of course, I want to provide for my kids and have a wonderful relationship with my husband. I enjoy learning about the gospel and continuing to grow my relationship with Jesus Christ. I love, love, love learning new things. I really love watching my kids learn new things or fall in love with something new.

Funny enough, when I watched Annie I always wanted to help with orphans. You know "the old lady that lives in a shoe, had so many children she didn't know what to do". Yeah, kind of like that. Leon corresponded with the ambassador to Zimbabwe through high school and fell in love with that country. Ever since we dated, we've talked about philanthropy and serving.

So, when you feel a little down and out, and don't want to accomplish the tasks for the day, what do you tell yourself to get going?

I'm excited to figure out what mine is, you know, really figure it out.

2011 Goals

As a family, we focused on three 'pillars' of our life where we can set goals:

Relationships

Work/School

Health

It was really great what I saw my kids come up with. Here are my goals:

Relationships

1. Find joy in kids and their happiness
2. Focus on finding balance for myself so I can love others
3. Genuinely take an interest in others and get to know them

Work

1. Consistently call prospects
2. Follow up better with clients and leads
3. Practice learning scripts to increase comfort level with prospects, clients and leads

Health

1. Drink more water
2. Exercise multiple times a week
3. Plan menus and stick to them

I'm excited about the possibilities!

Time for Me

I like me. I like doing things that make me feel good. I firmly believe that in order for me to fulfill a role as a mother and a wife, I have to take time to take care of me (so that I don't pop a gasket and have my head spin around backwards).

One of those things is books. In fact, when I get on a binge, I will devour upwards of six books in a single week. I don't remember everything in them, but I really enjoy it.

Tonight was book club with some wonderful friends of mine (and my sister-in-law came too!). We read Eat Pray Love and talked about the following concepts:

• living in the present - because that is where God is
• taking care of yourself in order to create self-respect
• soul-mate - is that the right way to describe someone who is the mirror of yourself?
• God's love for us
• having a spiritual anchor
• allowing yourself to make mistakes and then move on - forgive yourself
• and any tangent that we could squeeze in :)

I love these little oasis' once a month that let me express my thoughts and impressions and hear others. Many times they have changed the way I've felt about a book, and, more times than I can count, they have shared inspiration/impressions that I totally missed. And they introduce me to books that I would never have picked up - which is great.

These ladies are wonderful and I have loved having these getaways for the past two years and hope that we have them for the next ten years.