Mormon Mommy Blogs

So I've been feeling quite inadequate lately about how/what I share on Facebook and my blog. I don't write really well, I'm not witty with my content, I don't relate to popular shows or trends, I just write whatever is poignant to me at that moment. (Using the word poignant here is an ode to Mom, an English teacher.) As much as I don't want to care that others are reading, I secretly do want people to read my blog and comment on it. When that happens, I feel like I'm actually connecting to others, and that's kind of cool (fulfilling).

There was the article that came out about women who are not Mormons - far from it - but can't stop following Mormon Mommy Blogs: http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs. I thought "how interesting." So I thought that I should check out some of the blogs that were mentioned. To tell you the truth, I couldn't stand most of them. I love following some of my friends blogs, my cousin, and my sister-in-laws blogs. My favorite posts are witty ones that incorporate real life into fun posts. But the big thing is that I know these people and I care about their lives, so what they say really mean something to me.

Today, I came across this contest: http://www.mormonmomma.com/index.php/2011/nominations-best-lds-female-solo-blogger-2010/. So, I thought "how interesting." (see a pattern here) And I checked out the blogs that have been nominated. Wow .... I really don't like most of them. Some of them were really, really spiritual. Nothing wrong with that, just not my style. Several were very superficial - definitely not what I'm interested in. But there were two that stood out. Why? They are practical. They talk about things that I can relate to. They share stories or just write about them in a way that I could relate to.

So, guess what my conclusion was with all this hype? People like what they like. My style is very different from so many others. But there are a few of you out there that like it and can relate to it. Although, I do think that I will try to find some 'light' stuff to write about and maybe put up a picture or two. Shocking, I know. Don't hold your breath though ..... it will probably take a couple months before I actually do so. :)

Hmmm - Could this be our Purpose?

As I mentioned before, I've been thinking about my motivation for doing hard things and what my (our) purpose is right now. In other words, what is it that drives me to make a decision one way or another (like getting out of bed in the morning or doing something a little uncomfortable at work)?

After the kids are grown, I'm sure it will change. But for now, I want to raise my kids to want to serve others and share the gospel. It's something that we've talked a lot with our kids about and started finding ways we can act along with that teaching. The kids have shoveled walks, we donate to Sub for Santa at our work places, we've given from our home to families in need, and we help when asked to help at church, school, or in our community.

But, I kind of want to take it to the next level. I want them to know that there is more than just little things that people are in need of. Like homes, clothing, clean water, healthy environment, etc. So, that's what we are going to focus on.

Sidenote: I have this amazing friend. She has even stated that she's a 'gypsy.' Well, I fell in love with her and her outlook on life the first time I heard her talk in sacrament. And subsequently have loved all the new things she is constantly trying out. I still need to 'stretch' in order to fulfill that, but she has really inspired me to look outside of the norm and seek new things.

On that note, at some point I was talking to a co-worker about the possibilities that would be open to us if we didn't have debt of any kind. What could you do if you only had to have $25,000/year to cover your necessities?

Think about it ..... work a job, any job, for nine months out of the year. Make sure you have enough to cover your needs for twelve months. Then what would you do?

Well, I want to teach my kids service by having them live it. So what programs are out there? After Leon and I talked through this in a lot of depth throughout January, I spent 30 minutes or so researching on the internet. And I found two programs that will allow our family to spend 2-12 weeks on a volunteer vacation in other countries. I know there are more out there too. I'm giddy right now over what we could do.

Not that we could drop everything right now and leave next week, but now I have a goal in mind and can layout a two or three year plan. I already knew I wanted to pay off all my debt, but now I know what I can do once that is done. Something that might drive me to get it done faster if I have the chance. Something that will make a difference in my life and my families lives.

What would you do if you only had to have $25,000 for your necessities and then could save up $25,000 for something else each year? Oh, the possibilities!

This Saved Our Lives

Do you remember the day when you were going crazy because you couldn't get all of your commitments done? And I don't mean all the ones outside of the home, but just commitments as a mom - like clean bathrooms, laundry, dinner on the table, kids lessons, etc. Was it today, yesterday or what you expect tomorrow to be where you see yourself on your knees cleaning up whatever it is on the floor, trying to get through mounds of dishes, make a healthy dinner, listen to one (or more) kids reading, helping them with homework, smile for your husband coming home, oh, and trying to keep a positive attitude for yourself. Yeah - I was there. And guess what? I wasn't succeeding - in absolutely no way, shape or form.

I had a previous manager that had 10 kids - 8 boys, 2 girls. And he gave me the secret......are you ready for it? The Parenting Breakthrough by Merillee Boyack.

Holy cow! This book is amazing and it literally saved our lives. By saving my sanity as a mom so that I could be there for my kids in a supportive, nurturing way instead of always being stressed - or just living in a complete mess.

Today:

• Our 12-year-old is now doing our laundry (we have a few pink whites, but it's a lesson taught/learned). This is our third rotation, so he knows how to clean bathrooms - inside and outside of the toilet and all, clean up kitty litter, wash dishes - clean the kitchen floor and all, and take out the garbage and recycle. He also knows how to make his bed and clean up his room (mostly).
• Our 10-year-old is now cleaning our bathrooms (inside and outside of the toilet and all) and taking out the garbage and recycle. After our third rotation, he also knows how to clean bathrooms, wash dishes - clean the kitchen floor and all, and wash our clothes. He doesn't do the kitty litter because he is allergic to the cats, so he is our entire house garbage taker-outer. He is also responsible for his bed and room.
• Our 9-year-old has also been in on the full rotations. He is learning the kitchen at the moment and has some 'training' to continue with, but he is trying and he does a good job. He also makes his bed and takes care of his room.
• Our 7-year-old is in charge of cleaning out the kitty litter and setting the table (of course not at the same time because that is disgusting). He already mastered organizing the shoes each day - what a simple thing, but it helped so much. He is pretty good at making his bed and picking everything up in his room as long as he has encouragement.
• Our 5-year-old now organizes the shoes and we are still working on getting her bed made and picking up her clothes/toys. We really have to work on motivation for her - she specifically likes to have someone doing it with her. I'm thinking about job-sharing partners (I saw it on Super Nanny once) to get her to complete her chores consistently.

Our last rotation, we had each of the kids 'train' their brothers on how to do the job. It was pretty great to watch them take pride in what they learned and teach it. We also noticed what the kids missed and probably what should be reviewed with them.

What I like about the approach in the book is that it is all about creating self-sufficient, independent adults. I hear awful stories about kids on missions or in college that have no idea how to cook or do their own laundry. I even heard a story about a woman whose mother came over and cleaned her house while her husband was at work. What!?! Flabbergasted!

The book gives specific breakdowns of what kids can do at what ages. Who thought a 3-year-old could make their own sandwiches? I didn't. But show them how and see them light up. It's pretty cool. It also goes over things that I didn't even think of teaching the kids because I was never taught them.

I'm excited to continue to watch my children grow and subsequently learning some of these things ourselves. :o)

Definition of Insanity...

....trying to inspire kids to do chores. Now, I'm using the word 'inspire' loosely here, but seriously! Ever since school started back, it has been a nightmare! We were awesome during the summer because we said, "You have until noon to get your chores done. If everyone gets them done, we'll go do something fun: swim, ice skate, movies, friends/cousins, etc." It was great - we slowed down when Corbin burned his hands, but it still worked well.

Then school started. And you would have thought we transplanted their brains. All cooperativeness and get-'er-doness went out the window. It has been a little maddening - a lot of reminding, too much screaming, punishments, etc. It was NOT working!

So back to the definition of insanity:

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Yup - to a 'T'. Still trying to the same approach we have for years. Do it - great, you get some privileges....pretty much whatever came to mind and not necessarily the most consistent. Don't do it - Mom's head would spin around three times and unpleasantness would spew forth. Excuse the imagery, but this is exactly what how I felt.

I reached out to friends on Facebook and asked how they did it. A co-worker from my last job reminded me again of www.myjobchart.com. This website allows you to put in your kids chores, give the chores points, then put in rewards that can be redeemed with those points. Simple. Straight-forward. But I had not taken the time to really set it up. When we found out that one of our boys was getting a big 'F' two weeks into the term, we decided that something had to be tracked and that he needed to be incentivized to do better. So, I put in the whole hour that it took to set everything up for each of the kids and Voula!

Granted it's only been a couple days, but the kids are ripping it up! Leon gets daily texts when the kids earn rewards. He can now come home and praise them for getting their chores done without having to even check up on it and ask questions. He mentions it as he walks in the door. We both can see what types of things motivate the kids. Right now, it's time with Dad. That was humbling. Neither of us knew that they were really wanting that, so we didn't set up time to make sure they got it.

We also rotated the chores a little bit. Michael is now doing laundry, Corbin is cleaning bathrooms and garbage/recycle, Kohner is doing dishes/kitchen, Derrick cleans out the kitty litter and sets the table (after washing his hands of course), and now Eowyn has a daily chore of organizing the shoes in our coat closet. It's so great!

If you are struggling with how to recognize kids for what they are doing right (and take the load off your shoulders of keeping track of everything), I highly, highly recommend this site.

Cherry on top: We all sat down tonight for a couple hours and the kids redeemed their rewards, the house was clean, I hadn't yelled (mostly), and Leon knew his kids wanted to be with him. Seriously....who could ask for more?

Planning a Menu

So, planning a menu has alluded me for so many years. I have tried to do this many times, but have not been very persistent. So why do it? THAT is what I'm learning now...

#1 - it helps you when at 4:30PM, you say "what should I fix for dinner" before you have to head out the door at 6:30 to some activity

#2 - it gives you an idea of what are the ingredients you should put in food storage

#3 - it gives you the opportunity to tell your kids, when they say they don't like dinner, "you chose dinner on X day and your sibling chose for today" eat this and then you'll get what you want :)

#4 - it sure helps to make a grocery list - especially for those odd ingredients

#5 - it allows kids to have ownership in what is chosen each day - we have even had our kids help us cook the meal they've chosen (we need to get back to doing that again)

Overall....definitely a keeper concept that we are using in our family!