Balance - the Key to Happiness?

I've been thinking a lot about how to find happiness in my own life lately. Not that I'm unhappy, but I do get caught up in the day to day and not smelling the roses, as the old saying goes.

I know that there is no perfect formula to creating happiness in your own life, but I do feel that balance is a huge part in it. I've been adjusting to my new responsibilities as PTO President at the my kids elementary/charter school, continuing to professionally develop myself in regards to real estate, being a mom that my kids want to be around, a wife that my husband desires (or at least wants to be around), and continuing to enjoy and fulfill my church responsibilities.

Balance allows me to know that I'll get to everything else, even while focusing on just one aspect. But I must find balance first. I believe that I cannot do it with the toolset I currently have. I need to grow and expand in order to be able to understand where my priorities should lie and how I can fulfill each one without neglecting another.

Right now, I listen to uplifting CDs that help me to understand my meaning in life or tell me how I can continue to become a better person. I also read books that help me to break through my own self-defeating thoughts. My work environment is also incredibly helpful in increasing my self-belief. Not to mention, I just started 1-on-1 coaching with someone who wants to see me succeed and therefore will help me focus on improving and become a better me - in all areas of my life.

What do you do?

Serendipity - my new mantra

I read a book when I was younger called 'Serendipity'. It was about a dinosaur (I think) and Serendipity was it's name. It swam .... yup, that's about all I remember.

I've heard the word since then a few times, but never truly understood it's meaning. But yesterday, when a great friend invited me to a Power of Moms retreat, this word was explained to me gloriously!

Serendipity - Merriam-Webster definition: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for; also : an instance of this. Boring!

Definition given by Richard Eyre: a bridge built between spontaneity and organization or proactive and reactive. Serendipity is a state of mind whereby a person through awareness and sensitivity frequently finds something better than that which he was seeking. Beautiful!

I want to be spontaneous! I want to be organized! I want to be proactive! I need to be reactive! And now, I can be it all by being serendipitous! When he described that in order to find these precious moments that allow me to be spontaneous, I must have a direction in the first place. It sure makes me feel good about having a plan in place and trying to follow it. And now I get to look for those Serendipitous moments that will allow me to discover something new or share something new or anything!

He challenged us to look for the moments of Serendipity in our lives - to truly enjoy these moments and to share them with others if possible. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do to find these moments. :)

36 Years .... and Counting

I'm 36 today .... a glorious 36! I was talking with my husband yesterday about that and about the fact that I'm not sure how I would gauge my 'success' at this age. So, this is the list of what we talked about:

1. I have a home that I'm establishing.
2. I have a great career.
3. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband.
4. I have five beautiful, healthy kids.
5. I have a relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
6. I have an amazing extended family that supports me in all my endeavors.
7. I have friends who truly care about me and my happiness.

Not too shabby! I wonder what I will be able to make of the next 36 years.

Fight Against the Flow

Why is it when we are given a very basic plan and shown that it works, we fight against it and don't receive those blessings?

I have a couple examples of this:

Kids vs Chores vs Privileges

The expectation that's been set is that the kids come home and do the following:

1. put away their shoes, coats, and backpacks
2. change their clothes (they wear uniforms to school)
3. have a snack
4. do their chores
5. do their homework

This has been the same routine for over a year now .... and yet .... the kids don't do it each day (rarely do they do it all on their own accord). They know that if they do it without being asked, I'm willing to let them do just about anything.

Success at Work

At work, we are given a very specific breakdown of what to do to receive an overabundance of income:

1. come to training daily
2. practice daily
3. make our phone calls daily
4. talk to our SOI quarterly
5. follow up daily

And yet, less than 50% of the agents in the office do these things regularly. I'd dare say that less than 10% actually commit to these things every day. But those that do, have abundant success.

Spiritual Peace

My religion teaches us that we should:

1. pray in the morning
2. pray at night
3. study our scriptures daily
4. have family home evening weekly
5. attend our meetings weekly
6. fast monthly
7. pay our tithing monthly (or more)
8. fulfill our callings as needed

When we do this, we are blessed abundantly. I know that as I have followed these things more close, my husband and I's lives have been abundantly blessed - more than I feel we deserve.

Why wouldn't we just do these things because we see our blessings when we do? Why don't we do these things because of the see the peace that they afford, but instead forge our own paths? Why don't we enjoy doing these things just because of the positive results they give us?

It's amazing to me that I don't find myself just falling into these things naturally, but I am 'too tired' or 'know better' or 'just am not interested' or 'too uncomfortable' .... etc.

Now ... what will I do about it?

Self-Reliance

After my last post, Segullah was mentioned by two family members as a blog that they liked. I have to say, I'm not so sure that I like it. That might be too harsh ... but some of the writing is not to my taste (too flowery). I know for a fact that others love that, but not my style. It actually hurts my head to try and consume the writing that way.

But then there are others that are right up my alley. In fact, I read several posts today that made me cry .... not just a tear or two, but cry. Losing a child, getting divorced, watching someone go through a hard time.

The latest one that struck me was on self-reliance: http://segullah.org/daily-special/finding-balance-thrift-versus-consumption/. I thought that I had already put my thoughts down on this, but it doesn't appear so.

For many years I've been confused about self-reliance. The church has given us two different messages: be self-reliant and support/give to each other. Okay ... what am I missing? How can I serve or give to others, if I'm supposed to not only take care of my needs now, but put away more for later? Sounds like two opposing messages, doesn't it?

Then one day during a lesson in Relief Society on self-reliance ... 'Bing!' ... the light went on. Oh ..... I get it! If you take care of the things within your home, you have the capability of looking outside of your home to bless others.

If we have extra food stored...

• we can give to a family in the ward who is out of a job
• we can make dinner for a young mother that just gave birth or got sick
• we can make a meal for a funeral or for ward function

If we have extra money put away...

• we can give more towards the ward missionary fund
• we can double my fast offering
• we can give towards a family that has to be for an unplanned funeral
• we can give to a family that has an unplanned medical expense

Yup - I can't tell you how long it took for me to get this concept ... years! I'm a little ashamed to think I was so thick-headed. But I'm really happy that I know it now. Now, I can focus on getting my act together so that I can bless others lives.

Mormon Mommy Blogs

So I've been feeling quite inadequate lately about how/what I share on Facebook and my blog. I don't write really well, I'm not witty with my content, I don't relate to popular shows or trends, I just write whatever is poignant to me at that moment. (Using the word poignant here is an ode to Mom, an English teacher.) As much as I don't want to care that others are reading, I secretly do want people to read my blog and comment on it. When that happens, I feel like I'm actually connecting to others, and that's kind of cool (fulfilling).

There was the article that came out about women who are not Mormons - far from it - but can't stop following Mormon Mommy Blogs: http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs. I thought "how interesting." So I thought that I should check out some of the blogs that were mentioned. To tell you the truth, I couldn't stand most of them. I love following some of my friends blogs, my cousin, and my sister-in-laws blogs. My favorite posts are witty ones that incorporate real life into fun posts. But the big thing is that I know these people and I care about their lives, so what they say really mean something to me.

Today, I came across this contest: http://www.mormonmomma.com/index.php/2011/nominations-best-lds-female-solo-blogger-2010/. So, I thought "how interesting." (see a pattern here) And I checked out the blogs that have been nominated. Wow .... I really don't like most of them. Some of them were really, really spiritual. Nothing wrong with that, just not my style. Several were very superficial - definitely not what I'm interested in. But there were two that stood out. Why? They are practical. They talk about things that I can relate to. They share stories or just write about them in a way that I could relate to.

So, guess what my conclusion was with all this hype? People like what they like. My style is very different from so many others. But there are a few of you out there that like it and can relate to it. Although, I do think that I will try to find some 'light' stuff to write about and maybe put up a picture or two. Shocking, I know. Don't hold your breath though ..... it will probably take a couple months before I actually do so. :)

Attitude of Gratitude

Apparently, I need to be more grateful. Why, you ask? Because I have had numerous discussions at work from our principal broker, I've read several books recently that have mentioned it, and on Sunday our entire sacrament meeting was dedicated to it. So apparently, I need to keep hearing it.

Now, don't get me wrong......I love this topic. I have a testimony of how gratitude positively affects our lives. I firmly believe that gratitude helps us constantly focus on the positive aspects of our lives. At the beginning of last year, we started doing Thankful Journals (inspired by President Eyring's journal). We didn't end up doing it every day or even weekly, but I've still been trying to write during sacrament each week.

In fact, at work, we write down 10 things we are grateful for and then 10 goals. The best part about doing this frequently is that I don't feel very thorough if I just write down 'husband' or 'kids' or 'gospel'. I now write things that are very specific like 'a husband who has a job with great benefits' or 'kids who are excited about my success' or 'having a foundation of values that ground me and my family'.

So here are a few things that are always on my list:

1. I am grateful for the love and support my family gives me.
2. I am grateful for the excitement my kids show regarding my success in real estate.
3. I am grateful for my testimony in Jesus Christ that I know I can be forgiven of my sins if I ask for that forgiveness.
4. I am grateful for a work environment that is positive and wants me to be successful both in real estate and in life.
5. I am grateful for cars that are working.
6. I am grateful for a home that keeps me and my family warm this winter.
7. I am grateful for my current clients.
8. I am grateful for my leads.
9. I am grateful for books and CDs that help me to culture an attitude of self-improvement and an appreciation for what I do have.
10. I am grateful that I understand how gratitude affects me in a positive way every day.