New vs Used Clothing

So Derrick will never want for a piece of clothes again.......but the older three boys will keep me shopping. We have three boys born within 3 1/2 years of each other. And the youngest of them was born looking like a football player and hasn't changed since. Needless to say, some years they all wear the exact same size shoe, pant, or shirt.

This past year, Michael grew 9 inches and NOTHING fits!

Corbin and Kohner now pretty much wear the exact same size everything......and there is a 3-size gap between Kohner and Derrick. I now have 4 bins of clothes in the garage that Derrick will inherit.

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Michael needed new clothes because the uniform changed for the charter school he is attending. It is amazing what you can find. We have some friends in the ward who dropped off clothes their son had grown out of. Kid-to-Kid is a fantastic place to find clothes. And who knew how much great stuff the D.I. has!?! I've shopped there over the years, but usually for knick-knacky things or cheap toys for the kids. But I got an awesome pair of shoes for Corbin and Kohner for $5 and $6, and a tie for Michael for $2. You can't beat that!

It's incredible what we were able to accomplish for ~$75. I have many friends who are incredible at shopping at thrift stores and finding bargains. I have to confess that, for many years, I had a hard time walking into stores let alone wearing clothes from them. I am TOTALLY over it now and I have a lot of learning to do!

It's been fun showing the kids the difference between our receipts. They are amazed at what we can get.

Budget Crunch

So, we have now had our first real budget crunch since quitting work. After repairs, real estate fees and marketing, and additional costs for the kids, we have been at the end of our pay check. Which is awesome! A few reasons why this is awesome:

1. This is now the exception to the rule.....we used to live like this all the time - when both of us were working opposite schedules and our marriage was falling apart (we are still grateful none of our kids were seriously injured or died during this time).
2. We were prepared.....I knew there would be a time that I would be between commissions and we would be very tight on our budget. I was just hoping it would be a little further out. BUT we have plenty of food in our freezer and on our shelves in the garage. So, it's really easy to cut back on our food budget to stretch our dollars.
3. I've received some great advise.....like Morning Moo's powered milk is probably some of the best powered milk out there. I got this from a random woman who happened to be shopping bulk supplies at Macey's one day. She graciously answered a barrage of questions from me when I started to think about food storage. My kids happened to agree with her recommendation.
4. This offers an opportunity for reflection and resolve.....If anyone knows me, they know that I'm constantly doing little mini-corrections. The next few days will be great for me learn a) what's missing from my pantry, food storage; b) what I have that the kids will actually eat; c) what they love and I will need to make sure we have on hand. This is pretty cool.
5. My resolve to make real estate successful will increase.....there's nothing like telling your husband that we will be okay if I quit my job because I'll bring in commissions. And then not doing it. :) Granted, not everything is in my control, but I have really not pushed myself. Time to kick stuff off - which is great timing now that the kids are getting back into school.

There you have it, we've started on this adventure and three months into it, have already hit our first major s t r e t c h. The key is what to take away from it. Right now, it's faith that there is a greater plan out there for our family. And when we are through this - how to set ourselves up to not repeat it.

Life is full of lessons to be learned. And as my brother would say, "You can pick your trials or the trials will pick you." I kind of like being more in control of my life and choosing the areas that we will struggle in.

Planning a Menu

So, planning a menu has alluded me for so many years. I have tried to do this many times, but have not been very persistent. So why do it? THAT is what I'm learning now...

#1 - it helps you when at 4:30PM, you say "what should I fix for dinner" before you have to head out the door at 6:30 to some activity

#2 - it gives you an idea of what are the ingredients you should put in food storage

#3 - it gives you the opportunity to tell your kids, when they say they don't like dinner, "you chose dinner on X day and your sibling chose for today" eat this and then you'll get what you want :)

#4 - it sure helps to make a grocery list - especially for those odd ingredients

#5 - it allows kids to have ownership in what is chosen each day - we have even had our kids help us cook the meal they've chosen (we need to get back to doing that again)

Overall....definitely a keeper concept that we are using in our family!

Budgeting by what Timeframe?

Dave Ramsey's budget is based on a month. Which is great, except that it's hard to plan all the expenses because of the varied number of days in a month - in my mind that didn't make sense. So, I adjusted it to every two weeks so that I would know how we can plan our paycheck.

Right now, our mortgage take up just about 40% of our paycheck. So with tithing, we have to budget half of what we bring in across utilities, car, groceries, gas, family activities, etc. We can't wait until we are at a place that our mortgage does not take up so much of our income, but that will be a couple years in the making (either by paying it down or making more money).

This process has been excited for me. We have gone through quite a bit of discovery in determining where our money was going and where our weaknesses are. It's fun to see how we can unexpectedly find areas of improvement - like cooking from scratch or finding coupons. I have several sisters-in-law that have shown me how many activities your family can still experience even on a tight budget.

When listening to Dave Ramsey's CD's, he mentions putting together a quickie budget to start and then a more detailed budget (found here: http://www.daveramsey.com/tools/budget-forms/). But it is key to working with your spouse so that everyone is in agreement. I LOVE that last note - I believe that it is imperative that couples are reaching towards the same goals. If they aren't reaching towards the same goal, then their paths might diverge. Leon and I have seen this work in our lives over the past few years and it has been very powerful.

Short on Funds

So, I spent several hundreds of dollars on real estate this past week so that I could be ready to list some houses (yay!). Needless to say, it cut into our savings and has left us a little short of where we want to be. So, the penny pinching is in full effect.

Cooking from scratch has already positively impacted our grocery budget. Also, cooking a little extra and storing for later has been wonderful. It has allowed me to be able to provide more for our family on less. I have also been picking up a little extra here and there to ramp up our food storage.

I planned the menu for this week - which I have found out that normally, I can spread the food across two weeks if I'm cooking a little extra each day. Not to mention what I already have in the freezer that we can pull from. Because of what we have in food storage and our cupboards, we only had to spend $85 (of our budgeted $350) to get what we needed. Now we will have to keep $40 or so dollars for milk, cereal and bread for the second week of the grocery plan.

BUT I overlooked one thing - we were having the whole family over for Michael's Priesthood ordination. Yeah, so I had to figure out what to cook. Well, it turned out that I had everything already in the cupboards for teriyaki chicken and rice. We were at such peace as we realized that we were already taken care of even though we hadn't planned, just because we were taking baby steps to fill our food storage, and I was willing to learn to cook and dedicate the time to it.

I'm looking forward to seeing what we can accomplish as we continue to plan our lives and follow that plan. God expects great things from us and is laying the groundwork for us to accomplish them.

Time for Me

I like me. I like doing things that make me feel good. I firmly believe that in order for me to fulfill a role as a mother and a wife, I have to take time to take care of me (so that I don't pop a gasket and have my head spin around backwards).

One of those things is books. In fact, when I get on a binge, I will devour upwards of six books in a single week. I don't remember everything in them, but I really enjoy it.

Tonight was book club with some wonderful friends of mine (and my sister-in-law came too!). We read Eat Pray Love and talked about the following concepts:

• living in the present - because that is where God is
• taking care of yourself in order to create self-respect
• soul-mate - is that the right way to describe someone who is the mirror of yourself?
• God's love for us
• having a spiritual anchor
• allowing yourself to make mistakes and then move on - forgive yourself
• and any tangent that we could squeeze in :)

I love these little oasis' once a month that let me express my thoughts and impressions and hear others. Many times they have changed the way I've felt about a book, and, more times than I can count, they have shared inspiration/impressions that I totally missed. And they introduce me to books that I would never have picked up - which is great.

These ladies are wonderful and I have loved having these getaways for the past two years and hope that we have them for the next ten years.

Cooking from Scratch

In Book Club a few months ago, we read a book titled 'In Defense of Food'. This book talks about the trends of the American diet and how we have 'engineered' ourselves into poor nutrition and consequently poor health. One of the things it said was "If you grandma wouldn't recognize it as a food, don't buy it." Goodbye Twinkies! (This book is a must read!)

After reading this book, and also studying the Body-for-Life program and diet, my husband and I have been changing our eating habits for the last year. But I didn't have time to cook like I could/should. Now that I'm home.....I suddenly have more time to plan, shop, and cook. And I discovered that I actually CAN cook! Who knew?!?

A couple things.....I have four boys who like to eat. So they eat a lot and they enjoy just about everything. And I don't love to cook. So, cooking a lot when it will be eaten in an hour and then cleaned up, isn't very fulfilling. But I discovered a book "Fabulous Freezer Meals" at Costco. The author was there handing out recipes and I didn't think twice about it. Until we were about to leave and I read the card. She mentioned that she hated the marathon cooking days to freeze dinners and so she decided on a different approach. She decided to cook 'more' for each meal and freeze the extra. I know it's a simple concept, but I had never put it into place. (She also has bulk recipes for quick grabbing sauces and meats to combine with her other recipes.)

This has been such fun for me. More than the fun of cooking for my family, I am filling up my freezer with homemade goodness and purchasing more core items for my food storage (because I actually know how to cook with them more). Knowing that I have healthy choices readily available for my family is more fulfilling to me than the actual act of cooking. Now it's a win-win situation for me.

And, guess what we've discovered? #1 - we are more full when we eat meals that are cooked from scratch, and #2 - our bodies do NOT like fast food anymore. Even the kids complain about stomach aches if we grab a taco or hamburger.

Definitely a 'keeper' concept for our family!

New Budget

Now we have a new budget - is it working?

Reflection: How did we reduce it? We removed all daycare ($800) and reduced our grocery budget by nearly $500. That required Leon to not eat out as much, cut back on soda, and for me to cook homemade meals and cut back any 'extra' spending on little items here and there (which I have a weakness for). We also reduced our gas consumption by nearly half ($200) since I wouldn't be driving to work every day.

Back to the question, is it working? Well, that depends on our commitment. Mentally, yeah. We're pretty excited about it because we have significantly improved our spending. But we haven't quite hit each number each month. The discussions we've been having lately is a re-commitment.

Using Dave Ramsey's approach, we have standardize (equal pay) as much of our expenditures as possible and have most of them on automatic withdrawal. The cash spending is where we haven't been staying on target. So that is where we are 're-committing'. I'm even going to get envelopes out and I've proposed that we lock up our debit cards. :|

I love this quote (paraphrased) from Dave: 'Tell your money where it is going instead of it telling you.' We'll keep you posted!

Surviving on Less

The first step to coming home was determining if we could afford it. We have had a double income for 90% of our married life. And now I wasn't planning on bringing in a consistent income. Now when I said I quit working, I lied. I just quit one job - my day job. In my free time, I also sell real estate for family and friends. These commissions have helped us through tight times of paying medical bills, repairs on the car, catching up on bills, etc. And I still sell it. It is something that we can rely on as long as it is in savings. (Oh! and I LOVE to look at homes, so that's a bonus.)

Back to the budget....we had to reduce our income by 33% in order to make it. For starters, we don't have credit cards. We are both spenders and the combination didn't work well for us. So four years into our marriage, we got rid of them. And we've not regretted it one minute. Don't get me wrong, there are thoughts every year that 'we could just put that on a credit card.' But then we work through whatever financial crisis we are in and the temptation is gone.

A few months before I decided to quit, we were introduced completely to Dave Ramsey. A couple brothers and their wives had talked about it before, but we hadn't committed to it. This time I borrowed the CDs from someone and listened to it all. It made sense and it complements our religious beliefs. So, we talked about budgets and started committing it to paper.

And it worked! Once we went through everything on paper, we realized that we could do it every month. We might be shy a couple hundred each month depending on Leon's overtime, but that would come from the real estate savings.

Woohoo!!!! This just made the decision easier. And I was ready.

Coming Home - Where do I start?

I decided to come home. Now what?

Let's think about all the areas I could focus on:

• better nutrition
• organizing the house
• extra-curricular activities
• academic learning
• fun-time
• vacations
• budgeting
• teaching life skills
• dating my husband
• developing my interests
• serving with church

How did I ever get some of this done when I was working full-time? Well, if you looked at my house and talked to my kids, they would say I didn't get most of this done. But I tried then and now my goal is to make my life (and their lives) better.

The Clan

There is a cute friend of my husband and I that always tells me to take care of my clan. I like the description. Here's a little introduction.

Chief - Leon is my husband of nearly 13 years. We hard a whirlwind dating experience over about 15 months, in which we spent very little time apart. He is my soul mate in every way - he calls me on my crap, harasses me when I need it, and loves me to pieces. When we are both heading towards the same goal, we complement each other like peanut butter and jelly. He was made for me and I'm head over heels in love with him.

Firstborn - Michael is our oldest and he just turned twelve. He is going through the male rituals of turning into a young man. He is growing taller (6 inches in 6 months!), starting to get hairy, and thinks that everything that makes in different from his brothers is because of puberty. He is receiving the Priesthood at church - which means more responsibility - and is about to start Junior High. Michael loves being the oldest and burning the path for his younger brothers, but he also sometimes gets ahead of himself. He has a wonderful smile and loves to learn new things. I'm going to miss this sweet, innocent boy as he blazes his new paths through adolescence.

Only Child - Corbin would love to be an only child. But alas, that is not the case. Right now, he gets to continue to be the second born and an older brother. (And secretly, I think he likes having siblings to interact with, even if they interact differently than he wants.) He is very analytical and creative. I know he will be an engineer of something when he grows up. Because he likes to figure things out and then see what better thing he can make or do. In fact, in many situations, he figures out to work it to his advantage, because, why not? He is incorrigible and that's the way I like it. I relate to him the most - our brains work the exact same way.

Tenderhearted - Kohner is our middle child. He was born looking like a football player and hasn't stopped growing. In fact, sometimes I forget he is years younger than his brothers. Sometimes just because he acts so much older and other times because of his hulk. He would give you the shirt off his back if he though it would make you happy. And his heart would be torn if he accidentally hurt your feelings. Kohner is himself in every way possible. He dances, sings, laughs, yells, and cries just because that's what he feels like doing at that moment. I love it and hope that he doesn't get that passion diminished as he grows older.

Complicated - Derrick is our youngest son and in that, his life is complicated. He is too young for the older boys, but also not the baby of the family. He tries to live up to what he thinks his brothers want, but gets upset when he's not included all the time. He is also so sweet with his sister and girl cousins - he plays house and imagination and dress-up. His love for others is overwhelming for him sometimes and he gets hurt without others realizing. As sweet as he is, his stubborn streak will give you a run for your money. He would rather be punished for hours than to do what you want him to do when he doesn't want to do it.

Princess - Eowyn is a princess in every sense of the word. The youngest of boys, the only girl of the family, and a red-head to boot! She is so precocious, yet still the baby of the family. She loves her cousins and her aunts - they are so perfect for her. She gets to have her fingernails painted and dresses up as a princess and plays house, all with other girls. Which is fortunate for her because I am not a very girlie girl and, therefore, don't think of these things for her very often. She thinks that if she bats her eyes enough or gives a pretty enough smile, she can get anything her heart desires. And sometimes that's true. When she doesn't get it, she might just hit you - in true style of the youngest sibling of four brothers. (In that, she takes after her mama who has seven brothers.)

How could I stay away from them! :)

Success in Business = Success in Life?

In a nutshell, I am successful in business. I was made for the job that I had - Systems Analyst/Program Manager for a software company. I LOVED it! I worked with internal customers to identify ways to improve the software for their daily uses and then worked with IT to implement it. This job was perfect for me - because I love to make things more efficient. And I was good at it - I would get recognition as I completed projects. Sounds great doesn't it? Well, the biggest drawback was the big projects. You know, the ones that give you the biggest recognition.

Yeah - at the expense of what....my family. When my kids wouldn't see me before they went to bed - not okay. When I was home, I would still need to get work done and so I would yell at them for bothering me. Not okay. Or sleeping all weekend long and so when I was home, I wasn't 'available.' NOT okay.

Why was I here anyway? To be a successful business woman? Well, for me it was kind of nice. But I also chose to bring five kids into this world and a successful business woman wasn't really fitting into the nurturing mom and loving wife mold. In fact, I was damaging those relationships faster than I could say I'm sorry and will you forgive me. It wasn't working.

So then what? I mean, I make more money than my husband, we still have bills to pay and things were just going to get more expensive as the kids get older, and my company doesn't want me to go. Oh, and it's a recession - where there are millions without a job. So I couldn't just quit! Or could I?

What was I choosing?

I chose....

• success for my family instead of success in business
• organizing a house instead of creating efficiencies for a business
• eternal success instead of momentary success
• teaching my children instead of training new concepts

...and I wouldn't have it any other way. My journey to this point wasn't easy. My journey from this point won't be easy.

But the choice was mine.....it has been one of the hardest that I've had to make. And I have found more peace from it than any other choice that I have made. Because of this, I have so much to share. Whether anyone reads this or not, it gives me a place to put the fullness of my heart into something that is concrete.